I just turned 50 and have been on FatSecret for many years. It is sad for me to read over my struggles with my weight.

I have struggled with my weight for my entire life even though there have been periods when I was thin - I was still always obsessing and afraid I was going to gain the weight back, and I have.

Almost 10 years ago I got married and that seemed to even throw more fuel on the weight struggle. My hubby is not thrilled (to say the least) that his thin wife has balloon from 132 to 196! I'm sure you can understand he feels I did the "bait and switch" on him.

Say what you want, but guys are visual creatures. I think it stinks that just because I'm not a size 4 any more that he doesn't respond to me the way he used to, but it's the truth. PLUS, I HATE being this size! I had cute clothes I could wear but I can't any more so I wear a stupid pair of black pants all the time.

Thing is, even when I was a size 8 before, I still looked horrible in a bathing suit! Then I got down to a size 4 and I still looked bad. And I am not just saying this, even my sister confirmed it. I so depressed because I worked hard to lose weight and then still didn't look like the girls on TV and in magazines.

But since I'm just 5'2" I think I need to be around 115 or so and when I was a size 4 I was still around 130lbs. Ask me if I've ever been that small as an ADULT woman? Nope, only in high school and even then I thought I was fat.

Go figure.

UPDATE: In Feb. 2015 I found hCG and started on the 18th. I have lost nearly 40lbs on this protocol and LOVE it! For the first time in many years, I feel like I I can finally get some control. I LOVE that hCG is reshaping my body, accessing the abnormally-stored fat that never left even when I weighed 130lbs.

I am excited to see the real changes in my body's shape and am looking forward to being able to fit back into my wedding dress at our 10-year anniversary party on Dec. 18th!