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2010年01月4日

2010年01月3日

Well on the first I went snowtubing. My husbands family paid which was nice since we cant afford it with the adoption. I calulated my weight adn calories burned and it said 1116! Cool! We went for 2 hrs and my husband and I did all 2 hours of it! Today I am going to do some sort of exercise and start p90x tomorrow for an entire week.

I had to change my thinking. I was thinking I was a failure because I didnt do p90x or walk away the pounds or BL everyday for this amount of time but then realized getting off my butt and being active is exercise too. I was watching BL the other day and the whole time did band exercises and floor exercises, sure it wasnt an hour of running but it was still exercise.

Yesterday was such a crap day for me. I spent 8 hours doing paperwork and only getting 8 outta 24 things done! I was so discouraged at after I realized I only got 8 done. Then I had a ton of cleaning to do and that wasnt going well so it was bad. I ended up eating 3 zingers, 2 hostess cupcakes and 2 large donuts last night. Afterward did I feel better, no! I felt like I wanted to throw up. My stomach hurt something awful. I went to bed at like 10. I let the day beat me.

This morning I started the day off with 2 poptarts bc there was nothing else, lunch I had tomato soup and 1 grilled cheese on wheat. I could have done so much better. There really isnt much here to eat and payday isnt until this weekend coming up. I know if I am going to eat that crap I at least need to 1 watch portions and 2 exercise.

This is a journey, a daily struggle and an addiction that I need to deal with. I cant say oh after the adoption I will eat better because I will then be the mom of a special needs child and I am sure that carries with it its own stresses. Just being a mom has its own stresses. I will be a mom of 5. I want to try to lose 20lbs before we bring our daughter home from Russia. Not because then when I stress eat I wont get over 200lbs but because I want to be in the best shape possible to raise my kids. Faith (what we are naming our daughter) may never leave our home. I need to make sure I am here for a long time to take care of her and the rest of my children. I want to be healthy. I want to be active like I was this summer, always doing something with the kids.

I guess I should try to make specific goals and try even harder to met them. We have to have our dossier turned in in less than 3 months or else we will have to start again and that will cost a small fortune that we dont have! So...hmm...Could I safely lose 20lbs in 3 months? I am 179 today so that would be 159, yuck! I wish it could be 150 but I made my bed now I did to undo it! So altogether I want to lose 29lbs but we will start with 20lbs.

So to lose 20lbs in 3 months I will have to eat 1600 calories a day and exercise at least 30 mins a day. I really need to keep track of my calories better. I will have to look at everything. I need to lose 1.7lbs a week. That does not sound bad. I pray I can do this again, maybe BLC will be an inspiration again. I need to keep positive! I need to find other ways to relieve my stress other than eating.


Ok well I will take it one week at a time. Starting today.

2009年12月31日

2009年12月30日

Today I was depressed and ticked. I was in a mood. My stomach has gotten huge. I feel like a failure so what do I do give in to my addiction and eat. I had mcdonalds at midnight last night...a cheeseburger, 10 nuggets and fries oh and lets not forget the medium orange drink. Just thinking about it makes me want to puke. I have a problem. Today I had a good breakfast, maybe too many carbs but good none the less. One egg, dippy and 4 pieces of toast. I am not drinking much water going to try to do that. We ate out at a restaurant for dinner, for lunch I had a little piece of a sub and a whole bag of good n plentys. I ate too much for dinner too and feel as though I could puke.

I decided enough already this wont stop til you stop it. How much weight gain is enough before I say ok lets get back to what you did last year and lose this weight. This isnt a game you dont lose lose lose stop at 95lbs and start again, gain gain gain then say ok time to go back down, nuh uh!

I remember when I started losing the weight it wasnt about a number it was about looking in the mirror and saying Dang I look awesome! I am not there anymore. I look in the mirror and see a fat failure.

Enough with the walk away the pounds. I am down with that! Time to get serious! Tonight I did 70 mins of p90x arms and shoulders and ab ripper, ab ripper I could only do 10 mins of. When it said on the arms and shoulders 60 mins I was like heck no, but I liked it I really did. The hour went by fast.

So heres my plan, short goals in the weight, eating healthier and ultimately eliminating the junk food, not sure how long that will take. I was thinking of changing my weight goal on FS to 170, hit that feel accomplished enough to change it to 160 hit that then 150. I need to see that scale go the other way! I just need a little success to get more and more motivated. Also going to try to stick with the p90x exercises. I also want to not eat after 7pm anymore.

So we will see.....

2009年12月28日

体重: 最近减少: 还有: 饮食准则:
80.3 公斤 34.9 公斤 8.6 公斤 合理的
   (1 条评价) 一星期增加1.9 公斤


yogamama3的体重历史


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