madaboutmoose的日记, 2010年02月15日

I guess open-heart surgery is pretty intensive ... long surgery, long recovery time before they "wake" you up? No one in my family has ever had open heart surgery so it is new to me. The cardiologist said the operation could be up to 10 hours long and then they would keep him sedated probably another 12 until they were sure everything was stable. Does that sound right to you who have experience?

Of course the plot thickens and the drama swirls. The 'wife' insists she needs to be at the hospital for the surgery. The 79 year old woman with 1/2 of a lung, heart problems of her own, who is on oxygen 24/7 and only has 6-8 hours of portable oxygen wants to be at the hospital (over an hours drive from her home) for an operation that will take longer than she has oxygen for. And even then he will not be conscious until up to 12 hours later??? UGH. Exactly how will it help to have her there? Bob told her no. Told his dad, you need to talk to her. I had a sneaky feeling this would happen. I understand how difficult it is to wait when someone is in surgery. However, perhaps ... just for a moment she might be able to think beyond what she "wants" and consider how it might impact everyone else including herself??? I swear ... she'll work herself into a tizzy just so she can get herself admitted to the same hospital ... no joke!! Then we'll have to go feed the damn cat everyday!!

Yesterday was a challenge enough and FIL was awake and alert. She didn't turn her oxygen on right ... wouldn't eat anything then felt faint ... wouldn't tell me she needed a wheelchair that the walk was too much for her. Heaven help us!!!

At least she is consistent. It always has been about what she wants ... it is where she is stuck ... in those early years of childhood ... oh well ... not a thing I can do about it. We will be glad when we are on the other side of this though ...

I have been quite disorganized today. I did get a couple of things done but not near what I planned. Not sure where the day went. I was hungry and started with something healthy and then just kept going and going like the energizer bunny on junk food. I don't feel so well now. Gee, wonder why??? LOL!!!

I miss my balance, I miss my groove, I miss feeling like me.

支持

Maybe you could send fake MIL on your Mexican vacation... and tell the locals to keep her! Yeah, you'd miss out on Mexico yourself, but wouldn't it be worth getting rid of her??!? LOL Seriously though, you really need to step away from what she wants right now - for your own health. Just make plans with Bob as to what needs to be done, and then TELL her whats going to happen, don't ask. Go take a nice warm bath, and try and forget whats going on.

2010年02月15日会员：: MomofTwoGirls

LOL ... how about massive quantities of junk food???

2010年02月15日会员：: madaboutmoose

I agree with MOTG--tell her what is going to happen. Don't ask her what she wants, because she will definitely insist on something impossible. I am sorry that it is so very difficult for you right now. Hang on!

2010年02月15日会员：: erikag

Oh, dear, sorry you and your hubby have to go through this!

2010年02月15日会员：: abbadabba

Moose I am sorry too. You are in a hard spot. I understand that she is a pain and not a nice woman but I can also understand why she wants to be there. It must be pretty scary for her too. I hope you can convince her to stay put and take care of herself. This is way too much for you or her hubby. What about her family? Why can't they help her? Momo is right take a bath, soothe yourself with a little junk food and relax. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.

2010年02月15日会员：: chattycathy1955

Hope you and Bob hang in there! Lots of love from me to you.

2010年02月15日会员：: Deana Garcia

Oh I understand why she wants to be there but the surgery is 10 hours and then they will keep him sedated another 12 hours. She can't negotiate herself into the hospital without a wheelchair. She can't breathe without oxygen. Her portable oxygen lasts 6 to 8 hours maximum. She cannot drive. The hospital is an hour's drive away from her home. She was so nervous yesterday for a "visit" that she didn't have her oxygen right which she didn't tell us until we got her back home. She already is second-guessing what my husband is telling her and calling the nurse's station then arguing with my husband about when surgery is scheduled. It isn't scheduled yet. We'll hang tough ... my husband quite po'ed. He has been incredibly nice to her and supportive. UGH. We just have to hang in there ... and find our groove. One day at a time.

2010年02月15日会员：: madaboutmoose

Oh ... and her family?? Have you ever seen the Jerry Springer show??? Picture the worst nightmare of a dysfunctional family you've ever seen and then double it, no triple it. She gives one adult daughter her food stamps. The other adult daughter used her social security number to buy computers without her permission then refused to pay the bill. Just a sampling.

2010年02月15日会员：: madaboutmoose

Oh my God you sure have your hands full. Maybe just telling her she can't be there is the only way to go. Good luck to you. It is awful that the two of you have to go through this with everything else you guys are dealing with.

2010年02月15日会员：: chattycathy1955

Oh Boy! I'm sorry you have to go through this... I'm afraid I can't help you on this one, I would not have any patience with this kind of behaviour...I think I would drive her back home and forget about her... After all, your FIL is the one who needs help right now, and she is no help obviously, so she is better home and you would go pick her up when he is awake. just my opinion... You're in my thoughts Moose, I wish you'll find a way.

2010年02月15日会员：: jessyline

No advice - just a comforting HUG. Feel that? We are hugging you now! HUG-HUG-HUG-HUG-HUG!

2010年02月16日会员：: poet-in-motion

Prayers for you and your hubby Moose!!! This too shall pass. :)

2010年02月16日会员：: Chris1979


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