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madaboutmoose的日记, 2010年10月13日

Good Morning!

Feeling a little better today ... still not up to par but off to a better start this morning.

I've been pondering why it is that my brother rarely connects with me or my mother. It is so strange. He found out inadvertently that my husband had cancer (through a facebook post of my son's ... I myself rarely post such personal information on facebook) and commented, acting very offended that I hadn't told them. I of course responded and sent him a message. That was months and months and months ago and not once has he sent me an email or called me on the phone to ask how my husband is!! Nothing has been posted on facebook either ... he hasn't talked to my mom ... so he doesn't know!! I find that strange. Family. It isn't always a pretty story.

So 12 more working days and my mom will be retired!! She is getting very excited and it is fun to witness. I am excited for her!!

Today is staff meeting day, one appointment, and general catch up on paperwork. The never-ending story.

My numbers are up further than I am comfortable with and yet clothes seem to fit just fine. Strange. Of course there has been quite a bit of eating out the last few weeks and being out of my typical routine so I'm sure that explains a lot. Not feeling worried about it ... just mindful. I have a lot of travel this month, two trips next week, one the first week in November and another the third week of November so I know it will continue to fluctuate. It is an never-ending process. Being mindful, using the tools I have available, being kind to myself, and I am worth it. I don't worry too much about the holidays ... I know how to avoid the holiday gain. It really isn't much different than the rest of the year ... of course I don't get invited to a lot of parties and have very little family left so no big family celebrations either. I'm sure it is more challenging for others.

Grateful. Being grateful is important for me.

1. I am grateful for the family and friends I do have who make their concern for me known.

2. I am grateful for enjoying the change in the seasons with the changing/falling leaves, the starry skies, and the nip in the morning air.

3. I am grateful for being able to acknowledge when I don't feel quite like myself but not letting it rule my day.

4. I am grateful for laughter, mindless entertainment, and sleep.

5. I am grateful for the actions of love.

And so on it goes!! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement yesterday. Kindness towards myself is indeed an ongoing practice. I am reminded how important it is to be diligent to practice when I am not feeling chipper. As the seasons change ... I am aware that I too have seasons. Sometimes there is new growth, sometimes it is dark, sometimes things fall off!!! Find your own practice of kindness ... remember it isn't about making "excuses" or "rationalizing" choices but a way of being more present with yourself. That presence I believe creates opportunity for change ... lasting change not the temporary changes of a loss of a few pounds or gain of a few pounds but a change in how we relate to ourselves ... which leads to daily changes that we learn to incorporate into our life long journey.

Have a great day!! Take care of yourselves!!

Must go in search of coffee ... there was none here to make this morning!!! What the ????

查看饮食日历, 2010年10月13日:
1275 千卡 脂肪: 36.08克 | 蛋白质: 84.60克 | 碳水物: 175.57克.   早餐: water, Jarlsberg Lite, large egg, La Tortilla Factory Low Carb Tortilla. 午餐: yoplait light thick & creamy yogurt, banana, Chili (Small), Honey Cornbread & Muffin Mix. 晚餐: Lean Cuisine Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes. 小食/其他: Snickers Marathon Dark Chocolate Crunch, Special K Protein Bar. 更多的......
3050 千卡 运动: 案头工作(例如办公室的工作,坐着) - 9 小时, 驾驶 - 2 小时, Precor Elliptical - 38 分钟, 休息 - 4 小时 和 22 分钟, 睡眠 - 8 小时. 更多的......


评论 
Good to hear you are feeling better. And the saying goes...you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. :) I wouldn't give his negative thoughts too much thought if he can't be bothered to make an attempt. You did try. Thanks for the positive thoughts..always.  
2010年10月13日 会员:: Junebug7210
Yes Carol be kind to yourself. We all have those days. I can certainly relate to your feelings. Family can be strange that's for sure. As far as those numbers you know how those daily fluctuations are. You may have weighed yourself on a bad day. Well I better get up off this bed and do something. It is almost noon. Feel better and hope to catch you later! Hugggs! 
2010年10月13日 会员:: chattycathy1955
Glad that you are feeling better. Family can be so hard to deal with. My DH has NO CONTACT with his sisters anymore, not because he chooses, but because they do, and because when they do contact him, it is always because they want something, usually money. Very sad. I have watched him try to have ties with his sisters for year, and his efforts have been futile. Don't fully understand the dynamics, but my heart hurts for him. He has no family other than his sisters. At times it makes him very sad, but he has torn himself apart worrying over it, and decided th it was finally time to put it to rest. If they contact him, fine, but he will make no more efforts. I, ont the other hand, still send cards for the occasions that call for them, although there is never any response. Rather like banging my head against a wall. Well, enough of that. Hope that you have a beautiful, wonderful day. I am off to exercise!  
2010年10月13日 会员:: ctlss
Ah, family issues. Seems like we all have them right? My brother has distanced himself from our family as well, at least from my parents. Luckily I was spared and still (occasionally) see him... in fact he and his wife are visiting us this weekend! Like friendships, I guess familial relationships can ebb and flow as well.... take care of yourself Moose! :) 
2010年10月13日 会员:: Chris1979
Ah I hope YOU are feeling BACK in the swing real soon. That OFF feeling can be a real challenge. Im so happy for your Mom....I bet she is excited. Thats got to be quiet a joy.....retirement. Ahhhh..... and families....AH what a challenge they can be. Sometimes to have that distance between the people you love the most? its hard.....BUT I think in one way or another it always works out. I hope things do for you also. Hope the rest of your day goes Good.... 
2010年10月13日 会员:: Klannoye
Glad you are feeling more like yourself today. Family is so so so hard sometimes. Hope your brother comes around. Glad you are being kind to yourself and not worried about fluctuations. 
2010年10月13日 会员:: sharonfriz
So glad to see you more chipper this day Carol...! I'm thankful for journals like yesterday tho - not that I wish upon anyone a *less than stellar* day...but it calms me to know and understand that I'm not the only one who goes through those moments...like you said tho...it's only a moment in time...and it will surely change...I try to remember that too...I am mega stressed right now...and know that, in time, change is certain! Have a really happy evening darlin'....not sure how I'd get through my days without your journals and wise words...hugz n' luvz 
2010年10月13日 会员:: drd3775
Sometimes I think people are lucky that they don't have contact with family...Congrats to your mom! If your life isn't changing, you are dead, that is what my dad says. 
2010年10月13日 会员:: abbadabba
Sorry about your family troubles, yes we all have them. As always you sound good, more importantly good to yourself. Love your five. Happy Wednesday the weekend is almost here!  
2010年10月13日 会员:: cindyshine
Hi Moose, life is tough enough without family adding to it. You seem to be handling it okay. Your brother is the loser in this, 'cause if you are this great a friend you must be an awesome sister. His loss.  
2010年10月13日 会员:: sarahsmum
The brother thing isn't new ... it has been that way for years. Every once in a while though I think about it and am just amazed. It is his loss. Someday when mom is gone he is going to regret not spending time with her or staying in closer touch and then it will be too late.  
2010年10月13日 会员:: madaboutmoose
Moose, that is how it is with my hubby. He has tried so hard and it just doesn't get him anywhere. Sad! I feel sorry for him, but my family loves him dearly and considers him blood!  
2010年10月13日 会员:: ctlss
Family issues are rough, as it goes though I know you know that you can't change how other people act, only how you react to their actions. Keep up the kindness, babe.  
2010年10月13日 会员:: suechru
Yes, you're right about him feeling bad about not spending time with your mom. And you. My dad and his brother weren't speaking for a long time. His wife died some years ago from lung cancer. Five years after she died, there was a memorial service for her here in NY. My dad and his brother hugged and it was one of the most moving things I've seen. They still aren't in close touch but at least they aren't estranged. I hope your brother comes to his senses before it's too late! And hope you're continuing to feel better.  
2010年10月14日 会员:: beets_yum
I posted a picture just for you in my journal today :) 
2010年10月14日 会员:: k8yk

     
 

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