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I started my journey on May 5th. I weighed in at 238.8 in the doctors office, and I knew something had to be done. I went and got a prescription filled, and began my diet plan. I have fought all of my teenage life to lose a little weight. My build is larger than most, so I carry the extra fat evenly and with my height no one can ever guess my real weight. I feel that I will be successful in my goal to look good naked :) I'm doing this while I'm young so I have a chance to regain tight skin and keep my muscles in shape. I live at the beach, and never go to the beach during tourist season because I feel uncomfortable in my one piece and cover up when I have to stare at all of the fit girls in bikinis :(. Today I weighed myself at home and weigh 228.9 . That's 9 pounds in about 5 days. I admit to practically starving myself compared to my normal daily intake..but I know that will burn muscle instead of fat. I'm upping my calories from 650 and vitamins to 1000 a day. I know 650 is extreme, but I'm desperate. My mom is overweight, my boyfriend, my mom's boyfriend.... I'm keeping my dieting a secret to all but my boyfriend who I tell everything. My mom knows I'm dieting, but not to what extent. I have made myself reclusive since dropping out of high school in the beginning of 11th grade. Don't take me wrong I wasn't dumb, I was actually in the gifted program... I couldn't handle the ridicule handed down by everyone around me. I sat silent for 5 hours everyday in gifted. I never had a lab partner. I always did projects on my own. Teachers didn't even care. I dropped out of school by just not showing up. I never had to sign any papers. I had just disappeared and was marked absent everyday. I was even on my senior year's roster. So much for that. I stopped talking to the few friends I had.. I stopped being around to hand out money and they were gone. I had been paying for my friends. Not one of them had contacted me in over a year and a half, yet I see them all talking to each other on facebook. Even people who hated each other are now friends and yet no one has even bothered to say Hi... I've sent messages to some, only to get deleted or no response...I have been depressed since age 12. I never understood why no one would be my friend. Older kids I didn't even know made fun of me on the sidewalk.. I was in the 9th grade before I had a "best friend" to talk to. I've hated myself for as long as I can remember. I only saw my dad 3 or 4 times a year. I lived with my grandmother until I was 10, just to move into a trailer on their property. My single mother had many boyfriends and I was alone most of the time at home. I never went anywhere or had anybody over. I sat on the couch from age 10 and ate for comfort. Ate for something to do. I ate because it was the only thing that made me happy. I was lonely and food was the only thing that never left my side. My grandmother was always fighting with my mother. She would ridicule everything she did, and indirectly to me through her. I have always felt worthless, so why bother? Bother with anything including the simple tasks of life. I'm ready to change my life. I can escape from all that holds me down. I can be loved by everyone. I'm trying to do a complete 180 with everything around me. No one lives forever, and I don't want to be alone for it any of it. I've had somewhat suicidal thoughts along with the depression. Sometimes stronger feelings than others, and I have the scars to prove it. I don't want to be this way and I know it's not who I really am. I can close my eyes and see who I want to be. I'm tired of it damn it. I'm ready to change for me. I'm not changing for anyone else but me. I'm worrying and eating myself to death. I can do it...If this doesn't work..I'm not sure where I'll end up. I'm going to try. I have to.
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103.9 公斤
最近减少: 4.1 公斤.
还有: 42.6 公斤.
饮食准则: 100％.
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 评论
650 calories is extreme. I would advise that you talk to a nutritionist or your doctor to find out what is the safest minimum calories your body can run on. If you don't have access to a doctor or a nutritionist, you can calculate your caloric intake at http://www.caloriesperhour.com/
It'll give you an idea of how many calories your body burns and how much you will need to cut to lose weight.
By restricting yourself too much you are setting yourself up for failure. The more you deprive yourself the more you'll be tempted to indulge and when you do you're going to go overboard, then you will feel guilty and the cycle will repeat itself. Start will small baby steps, like elimination sugary drinks and replacing them with water (crystal light) , or if you eat a lot of fast food 3-4x per week, cut back to 1-2x. And also add some physical activity, exercise has been shown to help with depression. Start with just walking, or if you like music, put on your favorite CD and dance for 10-15 minutes.
On another note, I would suggest finding a therapist who can help you deal with your toxic family and also support you in your weight loss journey. It doesn't sound like your family is very supportive, maybe you can join weight watchers or a women's gym to meet new people and make new friends. I feel for you, I really do. I wish you the best!
2011年05月9日 会员：: lilangela1984
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If you don't work on the issues that caused you to gain weight, you will have trouble keeping it off for the long run. Drastic measures may get you there fast, but they won't help you keep the weight off on the long run. Look to other members on FatSecret for their goals and weightloss and try to find a plan that works best for you. Meet with a personal trainer and/or a nutritionist to find out what you're doing right and what you're doing wrong. Good luck to you and your journey :)
2011年05月9日 会员：: healthy_allie
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I also went to extreme (unhealthy) measures to lose the weight, and it worked, but in the end it wasn’t the healthiest and in no way is it maintainable. The best advice I ever heard was not to go on a diet, but go on a lifestyle change that you can actually maintain for the rest of your life so it doesn’t feel like a diet and like you’re depriving yourself forever. I went down to about 800 calories to lose my weight and now I’m at a comfortable 1,200/1,300 which is still low but I don’t want to shock my system. It sounds like you have a lot of other issues and you should go and talk to someone about all of your feelings, especially the suicidal thoughts and depression. Who knows, they could be related to your overeating/weight problem. Good luck!
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Thank you for your response. I've been on this plan for 5 days I did the 650 calories for 2 days and I realize then what I was doing to myself. I'm trying to keep it between 1000 and 1100 now, since the dietitian set it at 1,200. I know I'm supposed to follow his guidelines but I'm desperate for any shortcuts I can take :( I'm basically set up on an Atkins plan, no breads, sugars and stuff like that. Any meat, most veggies and some fruits I can have. It's hard for me to eat as many calories as I should because I'm cutting my proportions in half and eating 5 times a day between 7am and 7pm. I want to eat it but I feel it's still to much and I feel awful about it. I'm also drinking at least 80 oz of water daily. My family doesn't get me. I'm glad I have my boyfriend there to talk to, but he wants me to stay the way I am and not lose any weight. It hurts me to know I weigh more than him and that he's always been with slimmer girls than me. I know I've got to change for my health and happiness. It's not like me to be so open. But I'm going out on a limb and trying to let go and dive in to a new start. I'm old enough now to make my life mine and I'm going to do it.
2011年05月9日 会员：: toribethbby
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The depression and suicidal thoughts were mainly eliminated a year ago with about 12 hours of therapy and a serious state of rebellion. I've just now sank to a deep depression again because my cat died :( and I've gotten my first new stretch marks in 4 years. I will post new entries with more details of my story.
2011年05月9日 会员：: toribethbby
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