|
Really excited to be back on track, at least for this week. I did a lot of talking with my co-worker, who is on a weight loss journey of her own. So far she has lost over 80 pounds, and looks and feels great. She is probably one of the only people who I can talk to, who actually understands what I'm going through. I find its hard to talk to my trainer friend because she has never been overweight, so I feel she really doesn't know where I am coming from with all of my feelings and stuff.
I recently have done some thinking as to why I allowed myself to taper off. I got really comfortable. I mean, I had lost 15 pounds. That is an amazing accomplishment in itself. Of course its no where near my total goal of 50-60 pounds, but its something. Once I reached 15 pounds down, I started getting comfortable with it, so my eating fell into its old habits, and I no longer was losing any weight. In a weird way, I was almost okay with it. I was okay with not losing any weight, because at least I wasn't gaining any, and I new I could lose the weight if need be. Well, that mindset needed to change. I am not done because I lost 15 pounds. I am still technically considered obese by the BMI scale, I still cannot wear a bathing suit, I still have areas I need to work on, and more goals to accomplish. I lost sight of my end goal, and what I want to eventually be in the long run. Luckily, this week I was able to get back on track a bit, and hopefully I keep it going until I reach my goal.
Another thing I wanted to address is why I am not proud of myself. Again, I did some thinking, and I realized that I don't feel I will ever be proud of myself. Not because I am a perfectionist and nothing is ever perfect, because I am not that hard on myself. My reason I'm not proud from losing weight is because I should have never let myself get this big in the first place. At my lowest, I weighed 95 pounds (I am 4'11, its normal for someone my height!). If I had kept a decent routine after school, and not shoved my face full of gross foods, I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. I cant be proud of myself for losing weight, when I know it was my fault in the first place.
I am proud though that I ran my first 5k. I am proud that I am a lot stronger than I used to be, and I keep getting stronger. I am proud that I can now (usually) control myself from eating bad things, or too much. And honestly, I cannot wait to be able to fit into cute clothes, and be proud of who I am again.
|
480 千卡
|
脂肪: 6.89克 | 蛋白质: 9.79克 | 碳水物: 104.40克.
早餐: Bananas, Green Tea, Driscoll's Raspberries. 午餐: Healthy Choice Cheese Tortellini Soup. 小食/其他: Quaker Chewy Granola Bars (Variety Pack). 更多的......
|
|