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Friday night!!! Woo Hoo!!!
So ... what a week. I'm as worn out as an old pair of sneakers. The up side is that it gave me ample opportunity to practice kindness towards myself. Let's just say that I'm not fond of being overly tired or being 'behind' in my work. It's a fault. So ... with tons of emotion floating around our office, short staffed, new referrals steadily coming in, new 'requirements' for paperwork, and me trying to 'do it all' and 'perfectly' ... well let's just say it is a perfect recipe for Moose to not be so kind to herself.
You may be wondering ... what exactly does that mean? For me, that means I get cranky, I begin to feel like I am not 'good' enough, 'smart' enough, 'efficient' enough, so on and so forth. I begin to take things very personally (a life long characteristic LOL!!), my mind goes in overdrive ...
So ... as I sat on the back porch this morning, sipping my coffee, looking at the colors changing on the Cedars, Tamaracks, and Birch trees I caught myself. Ah ... breathe deeply, be KIND to yourself Moose, you are human, fallible, and just fine. No one expects you to do everything "perfectly" and no one expects you to be up-to-date on your paperwork. Of course you are tired Moose ... it has been a busy couple of weeks, travel, new families, lots going on.
By the time I got to work I felt more like myself. Still tired of course but so much more reasonable. On the way I got a phone call that my only appointment for the day cancelled!!! YES!!! LOL!!! It is sad when you get excited about clients cancelling!! I knew I wouldn't get everything done today ... the pile is much too large but I at least wanted to sort out a few things other people could do for me, get my billing/progress notes done on clients I've seen for the past two weeks, and write myself some notes on files so I would remember what the heck I was supposed to do with them once I got to them.
In the midst of all this a girlfriend called me. She has Fridays off and was on her way into town to do her grocery shopping ... wanted to know if I wanted to have coffee. YES!!! Being kind to myself, I took time for a break and enjoyed coffee and conversation.
Back to the office and, because I was being kind to myself and had reasonable expectations instead of crazy UNKIND expectations I was able to sort through things, and actually got the most crucial things done.
Long story I know ... but it occurs to me that you all might think I'm stark raving mad and not have a clue what I mean about being kind to yourself. I think it can mean different things to different people. For me I am quiet adept at beating up on myself. Sort of my life's work. For many, many years it was my automatic pilot. The process of change has been quite a journey ... one that will never be done ... until I no longer take breathe on this planet.
Much like having a healthy relationship with our physical self ... I don't see weight loss as something you achieve, are then 'done with' and then move on. At least not for me ... maybe for some ... but not for me.
If I think back ... I remember my son being probably 2 or 3 years old (translation 24 to 25 years ago!!!) and beginning to practice self acceptance of my body. Learning, that I could accept my physical self which was different than "liking" all my parts. The beginning of "you cannot change what you do no own." So I would actually stand in front of the mirror and carefully look at my body, each part, and began to make peace with myself.
It is in retrospect ... sometimes looking back over years that I can see the changes ... it was never in the short run ... at least not from the emotional perspective. A journey and what a journey life is. I have many more examples ... too many for here.
It is true that one can lose pounds relatively quickly. Keeping them off is for many a very different story. The bottom line is that I ate too many calories and didn't move my body enough ... my math was off and that is why I gained weight, over and over and over again. There were many other factors though that complicated my math skills. So, with each significant loss of pounds, or each attempt, I learned something. None were failures. It was the story I needed to write. It is my story. In fact ... the story is still being written.
So here I am ... 52 years old. I have reached my goal range ... still not that particular number I thought was important (175 is my "magic" number) ... which has been another whole lesson for me personally. I have become much more adept at the math!!! I am significantly more 'at peace' with my whole self ... and still so much more work to do!! While I am not always happy I do not expect to always be happy. I truly know that I will never be "done" and am okay with that. I am no longer waiting for "this" or "that" to happen so that I will be "happy."
Long entry I know my friends. If you've made it all the way through I thank you. I don't know if this answers questions some of you have asked but it is a beginning. There are no "ten steps" to being kind to yourself. I do not have the answers for anyone else. I can share what my journey has been and encourage you all to reflect and embrace each of your respective journeys. I think many of us share experiences in common and yet we are all each unique.
The weekend will hopefully be busy with more gathering wood for the upcoming winter ... I may or may not have much time to be on the computer. So ... in case I'm busy ... have a wonderful weekend!!! Practice being kind to yourself ... it takes practice, it takes time, don't give up on yourself or the practice ... I promise you ... it WILL, it DOES payoff.
And so I am grateful ....
1. That I've had a hard week ... it gave me the opportunity to reflect and more practice at being kind to myself.
2. It's FRIDAY!!!! I survived!!!
3. A surprise coffee date with a girlfriend!!
4. No need to set the alarm to wake up tomorrow morning!!
5. watching the colors begin to change.
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1476 千卡
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脂肪: 45.94克 | 蛋白质: 88.75克 | 碳水物: 167.45克.
早餐: Jarlsberg Lite, La Tortilla Factory Low Carb Tortilla, water. 午餐: Jarlsberg Lite, Flat Out Light Italian, Weight Watchers Yogurt, banana, white turkey meat. 小食/其他: Mike's Hard Lemonade Light, popcorn. 更多的......
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3084 千卡
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运动:
案头工作（例如办公室的工作，坐着） - 9 小时, 驾驶 - 2 小时, Precor Elliptical - 46 分钟, 休息 - 4 小时 和 14 分钟, 睡眠 - 8 小时. 更多的......
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