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Coffee in hand. 203 even. Doing my best to hang in there.
Yesterday was a rough day. Very emotional. Lots of feelings flooding me. It's difficult to know who in the therapeutic community I can trust in such a small, small town. There opts one therapist, the husband of an OT I work with who I know to be brutally confidential. I've only met him a couple of times but I know him through his wife. I called our EAP to see if I could see him. Not on their contract. I was very upset and basically told the poor man on the other end of the phone I was screwed and he said he would talk to his supervisor and we hung up. Then I called my OT friend. While I was on the phone with her and her husband this man called me back 5 times! I think he thought I was suicidal. I am not but how would he know that. Anyway the end of the story is my friends DH scheduled to see me next week as a professional courtesy. No charge. Bless him. I can hardly wait for Tuesday.
Things are not good at home. As long as we talk about nothing it is fine. DH isn't interested in going to therapy with me. Says if you think you need it go ahead but they will "spin my head around" and everything will end up all his fault. It's ugly. Mean things being said and then I don't want to talk. So were good housemates as long as I keep it light. Wish I could tel you more of the story but it would likely be TMI
I never made my first coffee date. It was with a friend and I was a mess so I told her not a good day. The second was a client I did fine and no coffee. Easier when it isn't about me. Got a lot of work done at the office.
Grateful today for
Making an appointment for me to get some help, have someone to talk to.
Being able to "go cold" so I can get through each day.
Coffee
Sleep
Folks who are trying to help me not beat on myself.
Take care.
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 评论
Oh no! I am so sorry to read about these troubles in your life Moose. I am glad you were able to make that appointment. In my past I know that even making the appointment sometimes helps you see your way through to something better. Thank you for your encouraging comments. I am really glad you are still here--though not glad at all things are hard at home. You take care of yourself.
2013年02月9日 会员：: beets_yum
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Take care of you sweetie..you made the right move to have a talk with some one that may shed some light on how you can cope...Hugs sweetie..:O)
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So reading more of the backstory and even though I obviously don't know what happened, I just want to say that I did something pretty hurtful a few years ago. I thought things were done, but we worked through it. Sometimes I feel like it's always lurking somewhere, and my DH also refused to go to therapy or talk to anyone. And maybe it's harder after 25 years, but you also have all of that history and love between you. I hope you are able to work things out. Like you wrote, we are all just human and that means we screw up sometimes.
2013年02月9日 会员：: beets_yum
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HUGS...great big ones!! Love you, Carol! Glad you are going to have someone to talk to about what you can do, and how to move forward.
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Talked again and he agreed to go with me! Not this week but the next appointment. Very glad.
2013年02月9日 会员：: madaboutmoose
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That is wonderful news Carol! :)
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Thanks Stef. I think so too!
2013年02月9日 会员：: madaboutmoose
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Oh gosh, Carol. I'm with Bren, take care of you. So glad you were able to get the appt. Of course I've read ahead and see that your DH is going with you. I'm praying this brings you both clarity at the very least, and changes things for the better all around. Peace of mind is so important in getting through the life. HUGS to you my friend.
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