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It's 6 pm here and finally Friday. This week has been like a roller-coaster. I had such a wonderful time out of town and then such a sudden reentry into reality that I wanted to crawl under a large rock, into a big cave, or dive into a vat of chocolate and hide. Work is insane. Everyone is so far behind with the data entry and paperwork end of things and we are all feeling incredibly overwhelmed. In addition, a nearby town had an office closure and this week the employees from that office began moving into our pod world. I HATE pods. It is so noisy that it is difficult to concentrate. My work involves thinking and writing and the distractions are a challenge. So many changes for everyone as of late.
My colleagues broke out the ice-cream this afternoon. I did not join them. I wanted to. Oh, how I wanted to ... but I knew it just wasn't a wise idea. I stepped on the scale this morning. I wasn't happy with what I read. I'll weigh in again tomorrow morning and whatever it is I'll record it. I'm hoping maybe it will be a pound or two lighter ... but we'll see. I have done well these past few days ... and I have been alternating Pilates with elliptical HIIT and plan to continue. I'm working diligently to make my choices on what I KNOW to be true rather than how I FEEL. Because if I followed my feelings right now I would be diving into a vat of chocolate, swimming in macaroni & cheese, something comforting to me. But, that will lead me to where I fear most. Gaining and feeling bad about myself. I've done enough of that in my life. I don't want to do that. Really.
Tomorrow we'll go visit FIL. No big plans for the weekend. I could use a little fun but I would be happy with a decent night's sleep!! LOL!! So for now I will take joy in the simple pleasures ... such as ...
1. walks with my dog
2. a good cup of coffee
3. laughter at silly things like mishearing what someone said
4. knowing that regardless of what I am feeling or what is happening or not happening that 'underneath are the everlasting arms' and taking comfort in that knowledge
5. baby smiles
My hot flashes are migrating to daytime hours. Oh joy!! It's only about 64 degrees in our house and I just broke out in a sweat. LOL!!! Oh the joys of womanhood.
I will move my bar down again at some point. Just not right now. The truth is my range has been 180 to 190 for quite some time, so 185 is right smack dab in the middle. When I start to feel myself back in balance ... then I'll move it down to 180 and hopefully eventually down to 175. Perhaps it is foolish of me. Oh well.
I wish I had one of those Star Trek transporter machines ... I'd transport myself directly onto a tropical beach with a cold drink in my hand ... watching the sun set and listening to the waves crash on the sand!!
I hope you all are doing well ... I feel out of sync ... not having much time nor energy to reply with much zest to your journals!! But, in my heart I think of you all often. You are a vital part of my support system. I treasure each comment and warmly embrace each of you in my heart!! Step by step I will practice kindness, to myself and others ... I will take time to care for me ... I will focus on what I have instead of what I do not or what I fear losing. Life is good. Even when it is difficult, LIFE IS GOOD!!
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1170 千卡
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脂肪: 22.34克 | 蛋白质: 61.79克 | 碳水物: 188.95克.
早餐: banana, water, Laughing Cow Light Garlic & Herb, Thomas' 100% Whole Wheat Bagel Thins. 午餐: Blue Bunny Light Yogurt, Brown Cow All Natural Greek Yogurt, Yoplait Yogurt Parfait. 晚餐: Healthy Choice Tortillini Primavera Parmesan. 小食/其他: Special K Protein Bar, Snickers Marathon Dark Chocolate Crunch. 更多的......
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3064 千卡
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运动:
案头工作（例如办公室的工作，坐着） - 9 小时, 驾驶 - 2 小时, Precor Elliptical - 42 分钟, 休息 - 4 小时 和 18 分钟, 睡眠 - 8 小时. 更多的......
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 评论
Hi Moose! You were very diciplined to refuse the ice cream. Great job! Hot flashes during the day oh well at least that can't keep you up that way.lol I can relate to having a little fun this weekend. Who knows maybe we'll think of something. Oh and if you get one of those machines please take me with you. Enjoy your evening and hope you get a good rest tonight.
2010年05月21日 会员：: chattycathy1955
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Cathy ... I will definitely transport you with me!!! Unfortunately I am also still having the hot flashes at night too ... LOL!!! Cold one minute, sweating the next!!
2010年05月21日 会员：: madaboutmoose
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Oh that's too bad. I was trying to find a bright side. If you think of anything fun or exciting to do please let me know. Ashley is off to a bonfire, Christopher is in Ohio and I am sitting in bed watching soap opera's. lol I need to get a life!
2010年05月21日 会员：: chattycathy1955
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Just a few words before going to bed. I'm so proud of you with the ice-cream at work! You're so strong. ok, I'll talk more tomorrow morning, when I'm able to see what I'm typing lol. Good night!
2010年05月22日 会员：: jessyline
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Woo hoo. Yay for resisting the ice cream. That's so hard. Especially since work sounds like a zoo. Is a pod like a cubicle? I hated working in one of those. I felt like a cow. Also good to read that you are resolved to stay feeling good about yourself. And please make a pit stop in Brooklyn on your way to the beach. I'm can be packed in two minutes.
2010年05月22日 会员：: beets_yum
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Don"t fret about the bar. Move it or not when and if you are ready.
2010年05月22日 会员：: beets_yum
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Beets - yes a pod is like a cubicle. I fondly refer to it as my 'stall' ... I hate them!! Glen - thanks. I know that I am strong but even strong people get overwhelmed from time to time. I'll hang tough. What other choice is there? And thanks to all for the kudos about avoiding the ice-cream. I was sorely tempted but knew it was a bad idea. On another day ... if I had been on track longer ... I would have had some but yesterday ... right now ... just not smart.
2010年05月22日 会员：: madaboutmoose
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Hi Moose! My comment last night is not very clear, I was falling asleep lol. You are a strong, very strong woman (not only about the ice cream). What you are going through is stressful, difficult and you always manage to keep smiling, and to see the positive side of things. And you resist the comforting foods, the "easy but so bad for you" overeating. I admire you every time I read your journal, you are an example. About the goal weight, don't rush. Take your time to feel comfortable in your range, and then go for a lower weight. The most important in my opinion right now, it to keep your focus on healthy eating and good-for-the-mood exercising. The number on the scale is not a priority. Have a great day!
2010年05月22日 会员：: jessyline
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