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I don't know once I eat a lot it will hard to stop myself for not eating that much the next day. It's like a vicious cycle.
Saturday night, we threw a surprise birthday party for my uni mate. That night, I told myself that I could enjoy food and I did. The next day, which is yesterday, I couldn't stop eating and i ate more than I did on Saturday night. I feel so sluggish. Why is it that? :(
Last night, I talked with A'. I met him at a party and since then we are kinda in a promiscuous state. I know he likes pretty girl as he admits he is shallow. He keeps saying those topics that I don't like because it somewhat makes me feel so diffident and worsens my bad body image.
He brought out my girl friend and said she is cute. It hurts actually. Well, he was like hinting that I should intro them to each other. And he was like somehow telling me that we are nothing? I know it. But what's wrong with him? He texts me and calls me. He told me everything. Uni, family blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. It's like too much, isn't it? Why doesn't he just tell others? Why me? Why does he care about me going night clubs a lot? Why he asked if i got home safe? If he likes me (I assume), why does he wanna talk about other girls? ARGH.
I came across a random girl's blog and she said there's a saying "Ugly girls have hot friends". Oh no, all my girl friends are somewhat cute and pretty.I'm the ugly one. LOL! I know I should feel uneasy about this statement, but I don't know why I found it funny. Anyway, my this girl friend has small frame and she has this very tiny waist. *envy*
I'm confused. When I'm with my local friends, I'm the shortest and this makes me feel like I'm stubby. When I'm with my fob friends, they are too tiny and this makes me feel like I'm a dinausaur. Where's the balance? I'm kinda lost.
I know I'm wee bit big for him because he is short as. Revenge. Omg, I'm so childish. It's good that he brought that up because it made me a bit jealous. Jelousy motivates me. Haha. Postive thinking. =]
I think about it. What I really want? Do I go on diet to flatter him? No. I go on diet for my own sake. For the sake of my health, happiness and well being. Not for him at all. If it's not because of him, I can't be bothered about him anymore. Happy me again. I should start snubbing him. :)
From today on, I will focus on what I want. I will push myself more like I used to. Teehee!
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