Was glad to see your comment on Debbie Cousins journal today, but I am so sorry that you have had so much difficulty. Wow, you have been through a lot. I was worried from the very beginning before you had your surgery that you might lose weight then gain it back. You aren't the only one that has done that after surgery. You were placing so much hope in it, that this was going to be the final answer for you. But others have found that they could gain back a great deal of weight after their surgeries, even Debbie did. It was sad that you had so many physical problems caused by the surgery also. That tends to continue for many. You probably don't want to hear this but I am praying for you. The Lord loves you so much. He is the Creator, we couldn't just be an accident. And He wants a relationship with you. Life has been very hard for you, even from the beginning. I'm so very sorry you were hurt so deeply. And now you are having so many physical problems on top of it. It's not fair, is it? I wonder if you will get this message. Could you let me know? I know Christians were never your cup of tea, but you always liked Debbie, and I know she was praying for you because I asked her too around the time of your surgery. The Lord is standing at the door to your heart knocking, wanting to come in. Please read the first book of the New Testament: John. Jesus is not only the son of God, He is also God the Son, and in John is called the Word. If you ask Him to come in to your heart He will. Or if you ask Him to show Himself to you, so that you can believe in Him, He will do that too. I pray you will think about it...and read John. Your friend, Snowy.