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Plateau city...same weight. I am fine unless the weight goes up. Today, will be a salad day (Scratch that...the veggies did not look fresh)...yesterday was a protein day. Will write more later....
Afternoon Update:
Wow, I think I touched a nerve in yesterday's journal. Ok, so the spousal support issue is a bit cloudy. I know my wife wants me to be healthy. However, when we got married I was at the present weight....she has never seen me in my "glory days" weight. She is afraid, I think, that I will get "too skinny"....however, I am a muscular guy, I don't work out or anything but I have broad shoulders, muscular thighs and calves and I have pecs (although they could be more muscular). She worries that I will lose some of that musculature by going to 180. I understand, I don't know what I will look like when I get to my goal. BUT, the difference is that I do not fear hitting my goal. I know that I will feel much better and that I will be healthier overall. Also, I know that she feels I have gotten more attractive and maybe that is also bothering her. However, as I have told her, I made a vow and its a life long vow...the only thing that would change that is if she wanted a divorce or she passed away. I come from a Catholic background so I am socially conservative...I did not plan on more than one marriage and I do not believe in "starter" marriages. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health....til death do we part.
Thoughts for the day:
1) Resolute - When the night is at its darkest, my one consoling thought is that the Sun will rise soon. As with the current mini plateau I am in, I know that my breakthrough is coming. I looked at the numbers from the beginning of the month of September and my numbers in the beginning of the month in October...they resemble each other closely..very slow drops with plateau like pauses. However, the second half of the month of September shows better results....I am hoping that the second half of October shows similar results. I know that I will reach my goal.
2) Confidence - My friend jokingly called me the Spanish Tim Tebow yesterday (if you don't know who Tim Tebow is...just Google that name). I was flattered...my buddy said "Dude, when you have that unshaven look, you look like a Spanish Tim Tebow...you have this swagger and confidence in you." I was happy to hear that. With my weight loss, I feel more confident, I feel more masculine (weird to say but that is how I feel), I feel like I don't need to hide myself among a crowd. I feel like my body is catching up to my mental capacity. When I was a kid, my dad told me "You should be strong in body and in your mind...follow the Aristotle ideal." I tried to keep that in mind but Cheetos, Frito's, Doritos, Beers, parties, Super Sized portions detracted me from it. Now, I feel I am approaching my ideal...and with that comes my burgeoning confidence.
3) End of Year - So now as we approach the end of the year, I have looked back at 2012 and thought about the life changes that have occurred. Tragically, I lost my mom in July, my wife lost her Uncle in May and one of my best friends lost his mom in August. However, on the good side, I did welcome my new nephew to the world this year and I did get to see some family from South America. This year also taught me to be tougher and hold on to my beliefs no matter what others may say. 2012 for me will symbolize that in life there are changes and that going forward the only thing I can be sure of is more change.
Song of the Day: Stereo Love by Edward Maya
Partly Cloudy and Warm in NYC!
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