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Today is a new day and I am trying to give myself a fresh start. I "restarted" my diet- I don't know why exactly, but there's something simple and liberating about doing that, it feels like I am in a small way able to move on by doing that.
So far I am doing alright. I even did one of the p90x workouts. I have done each of the 8 or so ones at least once, but I haven't gotten to the point where I don't find them intimidating and stall a while before facing them. I know I have some fear involved, but what that is precisely about is unclear. In any case I faced my demons with that struggle and have prevailed for today.
It's entirely the wrong attitude, but I remember that while I was doing the workout I was thinking if I just make it through this I can have/ "reward myself with" lunch, but now that it's over I don't have an appetite. That feeling of not being hungry is surreal to me. I have to keep telling myself that if I don't feel hungry I shouldn't force myself to eat, and reminding myself that I'm already at half my RDI and am hardly going to go into starvation mode by waiting a while longer, but still there's part of me that feels like I NEED to eat now. I am choosing to ignore it right now because I think it's misguided and may be from some residual hard wiring I developed as a kid regarding food. Like many others I know a lot of my food issues are from how I grew up. Now I am trying to retrain myself so that I don't pass on the same maladaptive habits and attitudes I had to my daughter. So right now I know I am at day 1 of a long journey, I am glad at least that I don't have to trek it alone.
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1393 千卡
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脂肪: 65.66克 | 蛋白质: 93.57克 | 碳水物: 109.10克.
早餐: half and half, almonds, fried eggs, Sugarhouse Maple Breakfast Chicken Sausage, steel cut oats, skippy creamy natural. 晚餐: cooked egg white, clementine, beef pot pie. 小食/其他: skippy natural, apple. 更多的......
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